Every new mum just loves when they have a wedding in the weeks following having a baby!!!! On one hand I couldn’t wait to enjoy some beevies, wear heels (for a little while anyway), and not need a nap . But on the other I was dreading finding a dress that a) fitted, b) didn’t make me look pregnant again and c) suited me.
I’m no fashion expert but I do know a pencil skirt to below my knee gives the illusion of me being less stumpy. At the moment it would appear A line skirts and big puffy skirts are all the rage. They are all very pretty but just make me look HUGE. I mean I look 6 months pregnant in some of them. Hence there are no photos.
So, of course, The Dad and I thought it would be a good idea if we all went shopping for a new shirt for his suit and a dress for myself in Dundrum. Bear Grills himself could have a show on survival tactics for shopping with a family. Five hours later we were leaving Dundrum nearly ready to put the children up for adoption and filling for divorce. A fine way to mark our 4 year wedding anniversary. 🙂
In fairness Missy was really good and was quite straight talking about what she liked on me. Given she’s 2, possibly not the best person to take advice from. If she had her way, everything I wear would be pink and purple covered in dinosaurs, pigs, tractors and planes….um maybe that’s my business idea – children’s clothesline.
First up, park The Dad and Junior somewhere to administer the bottle. Missy and I then head for Pamela Scotts. Strawberries into Missy’s hand along with a warning not to touch anything. Grab about 6 dresses in varying sizes and straight to the changing room. No, no , no, no, no, AHHHHH serious no. Yep, oh wait that’s a top. Ah, well, I’ll buy it.
TK Max next. Rice cakes, fine they were crisps, into Missy’s hand. Grab another bunch of dresses and to the changing room. Prop Missy on the seat. No, no, maybe, no, yes but the slit goes up my ass, no, back to the maybe and it’s a no.
Right give up and head back to the other half of the family. No joy on the shirt front for The Dad either so lunch it is. Oh look they’ve a deal, sandwich and a slice of cake for 7. That’s just what we need to top off being depressed about the weight!!
Nappy changes for the munchkins. One more shop, honest I’ll be done then. Didn’t mention it was House of Fraiser which is just loads of shops in one ;-). Park The Dad, Junior and Missy in yet another cafe. Head straight to the Coast sale rail, that’ll do nicely. Pencil skirt style dresses…..jackpot. Into the changing room, oh it’s nice just too small. Run out still wearing the dress too small, grab next size up. Back in, try on. WAHOOOO we’re sorted.
Back out and pick up the family. The Dad decides to buy the shirt he saw in the first five mins. Thought that was just woman! Right Missy is starting to fade. Sod it, ice-cream for everyone. This is survival after all. Park myself, Missy and Junior on a bench while The Dad runs to shop.
Enjoying the ice-cream, ice-cream dripping everywhere, ice-cream now pouring everywhere. Wait, what’s that smell. Ah no, a disaster of a nappy. Right lug all three of us back to the change room. Oh good lord, it’s everywhere and the previous occupants never cleaned the table!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure I should change Junior while I’m here. Now sweating like a pig but back to the bench with us all. The Dad is back lets go home. Nope Junior is hungry. Warm the bottle, feed baby. The Dad wonders if he should buy a new tie. Fine, we’ll all go pick one out. Are you serious, Missy’s nappy has leaked. I just changed it 2 minutes ago. Right The Dad off to get a tie with Junior,while myself and Missy do yet another nappy change.
OK lets go meet The Dad to help him pick out a tie. Down in the ‘up, down’ otherwise known as the lift, to men’s section in Marks. No sign of The Dad. Ring him, oh you’re up outside the toilets waiting for us. Tears, melt down. Screaming ‘GET ME HOME’